6/13/25-6/19/25
I decided to start the Artist’s Way about two weeks ago. I really want to work on my writing as well as find the confidence to work on some more visual stuff and music. I’ve been working on five or six blog posts over the month, but I only write about a couple of paragraphs before my interest trickles away. I am hoping following the Artist’s Way will give me some discipline and confidence and strengthen my “creative muscles.”
I bought a copy of the book on ThriftBooks, and it sat for a few days unopened in my apartment before I was ready to commit. I was definitely nervous to start. I have a hard time following routines. And if you can’t tell already, I loooove starting shit, and I hate to finish it. So, twelve weeks is feeling like a huge commitment. I’m trying to reframe this process as a journey rather than a race. So, let’s talk about week 1.
Every day, you are required to write three pages of brain dump as soon as you wake up. You are to wake up, write, and hide your writing to never read again (or at least until later in the program, I believe?). These are known as morning pages. Some people love them, some people hate them. I’ve been more preoccupied with remembering to do them in general. I woke up at 5 in the morning to do my first morning pages. Technically, I woke up because I’ve been having trouble sleeping in this muggy Chicago heat. But I was up and ready to start my day, so that meant it was time to write. It took me 2 hours to write my morning pages. I’m wondering if the notebook I chose was too big, but I read online it’s supposed to be regular 8.5×11 paper, so that’s what I went with. And my hands HURT. Though, I do like the feeling of brain-dumping. I’ve done it in less formal circumstances prior to the Artist’s Way: opening a Word document, free-writing a page, and immediately putting it in the trash when I’m finished. But physically, writing by hand was definitely harder. After about half a page, I truly believed I had no more thoughts in my head.
For week 1, part of your assignment is to write affirmations after your morning pages about how you believe you are a talented artist and whatever. Then, you record your reactionary thoughts to those affirmations and try to track where they came from. Our internalized negative opinions about ourselves do not originate within us. We are not born hating ourselves. That is learned. Those thoughts are usually what we absorb from others around us. People who have, intentionally or not, doubted us, especially as children. Parents, teachers, coaches, and friends can all have an impact on how we see ourselves because we care about other’s opinions. Once you can separate your inner critic and learn not to internalize it, those thoughts become easier to tune out. The way the book recommends doing this is by flipping specific negative thoughts into positive affirmations.
On Friday, I took myself for my first artist’s date. I went to a thrift store in my neighborhood that I had never been to before. I went for about three or four hours, listening to my music, phone on do not disturb, taking pictures of things I found that were interesting to me or my inner artist. I picked up a few things, too: some clothes, candles, and a collapsable table for me to work on in my living room! That’s huge for me since I just moved and I don’t have any furniture in my living room really besides a couch. I’ve been doing all my schoolwork and writing while sitting at my bedroom vanity. I also picked up some magazines for collaging! I left most of my magazines back in New York, so I’m excited to build up my collection again. I had a really nice time and while I definitely spent too much money, it was a great way to spend time with myself.
My next group of assignments was to identify my creative enemies and then to write the “horror story” of what they said or did to me that made them my creative enemy. These creative enemies are people who have historically said, acted, or implied that you will never make it as an artist. They are the originators of our inner critics. I won’t be going into detail here. I will say it was an assignment I was not looking forward to, but I completed it, and now I can move on. Next, I was to write a “letter to the editor” in defense of myself, in the style of my inner artist (child). I emailed myself a small paragraph as a response to what my creative enemy said about me. It was silly and felt mean, but like a child, brutally honest.
Conversely, the assignments after that were related to identifying “artistic champions,” A.K.A., people who have affirmed you throughout your creative growth. I had a hard time identifying what the people who have supported me specifically said, but I went through my childhood and remembered a few people who I do credit my artistic exploration to. I ended up sending an email to my mom’s friend, a painter who I took art classes with after school and thanked her and updated her about my life because I probably hadn’t talked to her in at least fifteen years. It was optional to actually send them a letter, but I thought she might want to know what I’m up to now that I’m in my mid-twenties.
The next assignments were about “alternative lives.” You are to name five careers you would do if you lived five different alternative lives. I would be 1. a bonsai gardener, 2. a nun, 3. a national park guide, 4. a dancer, and 5. a supermodel. Then, I was supposed to find an activity to try that was related to one of these careers. I tried some dance routines on YouTube, and I actually had a lot of fun. It was low-pressure and silly, and now I can moonwalk btw. It’s something I want to keep up after week 1 is over.
My final assignment to tackle was probably the easiest: going for a twenty-minute walk, as this is a simple way to alter your consciousness. I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly. I try to walk daily, and those who know me know I walk 5-7 miles multiple times a week. I went out the alley entrance from my apartment and immediately ran into my upstairs neighbor outside. We started catching up, talking about the updates being done to our front courtyard, and we ended up going to grab coffee together. We talked for about an hour and made some plans to hang out in the future. It’s funny because although it was not the intended way I was planning to experience a shift in consciousness, I did experience connecting with my community. It was a great, spontaneous surprise. This is an activity that was meant to be done just for me and my inner artist, so I did end up going on an actual twenty-minute walk in the evening, looking, listening, smelling, and hearing what was going on around me. It’s mulberry season right now, so I got to eat a few juicy berries off the bush, too. That’s one of my favorite parts about June.
Now that I’ve finished my first full week, I will be answering my reflection questions here.
- How many days did you do morning pages this week? How was this experience for you?
I did all seven days of my morning pages. There are parts I like about morning pages, and other parts, not so much. I like brain-dumping. It clears my mind, and I feel more present and less anxious throughout my day. I like postponing the time it takes for me to check my phone in the morning. I would only use my phone to play some frequency music while I wrote. I liked that by the end of my three pages, I would perk up and have more energy to start my day. I also did a fantastic job of waking up and giving myself enough time to write. For what I didn’t like: I averaged about an hour and a half of writing every day. It felt hard to focus sometimes. I would get in the flow and then lose it and have to bring myself back. Also, it hurts your arm and your shoulder and neck after a while. I keep having to remind myself to relax while I’m writing—to drop my shoulders and loosen my wrist. I sort of prefer typing, although I’m sure it’s not much better for me. I would also be pretty cranky in the middle of my morning pages. It’s crazy because you feel like you’ve been writing for hours, and then you check, and it’s been one hour, and you’ve barely written a page and a half. All in all, I do think it’s good for me, and I do tolerate it. I will see how things progress throughout the weeks.
2. Did you do your artist date? What did you do? How did you feel?
As I mentioned above, I went to the thrift store. It was fun. I was there for hours, and I felt a little guilty having my phone on do not disturb for a few hours and for spending as much money as I did. But I had fun. I’m glad I know where I can get some magazines for collaging ($1 a magazine though…ugh). I am excited to try something a little more out of my comfort zone next week because weekly thrifting is pretty normal for me. I tried to be balanced this week because I had like two midterms, two exams, and a final this week, so I had to prioritize school and all that.
3. Were there any other issues this week that I consider specific to my recovery? Describe them.
I had a hard time identifying blurts when doing my affirmations. I do a lot of affirmations. They make me feel really good, and I have practiced really feeling them in my whole body, especially my heart, even if I don’t believe it. So, I didn’t have a lot, really. I had the most blurts on the first day. Also, for some of my blurts, I couldn’t really identify a source. There are people in my life who have definitely contributed to my negative self-image, but I’ve been so shy and so hidden about my creative ideas that I don’t think I’ve let a lot of people get close enough to form opinions on them. If they pop up later in the program, at least I know how to identify and rework them now.
That’s all for now. I will leave you with a couple of quotes I liked from this chapter at the bottom of the post here.
c u next week,
frankie
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.” – C.G. Jung
“We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic.” – Susan Jeffers
“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” – Joseph Chilton Pearce